Today was not a great day. It’s not the time I did in the swim, bike or run, the punctures, the draft fest on the bike, the confusing directions, the clueless public meandering and obstructing the course, the hopeless marshals, or, the 8th place finish that I’m disappointed about. It’s that I didn’t do my best.
It’s times like these that make you question the path you have chosen for yourself and the self-doubts come creeping back. Then, once with some energy food inside you and have a chat with the boss, you do another reality check. You halt the pathetic self-pity, re-assert your beliefs and your passions, remember how lucky you are to be training and working with the best coach and triathlon team in the world, teamTBB, and, learn so you can move forwards to be stronger to fight another day.
Above pic: me exiting T2, smiling listening to the excitable cheers from Chris, the awesome gay guy who kindly put me up in Singas with fellow teammate and winner, Mary Beth Ellis. I then heard Witt (famous IM commentator who says “You are an Ironman!”… except this wasn’t an IM but a half of course!) who was telling the crowds all my nicknames; curly, bouncy etc. Apparently he talked about my curly hair for about 10mins!
No-one said ‘living the dream’ was going to be easy and moreover, if it was, then it wouldn’t be my dream. Many ‘normal’ people question why I would put myself through this selfish lifestyle of hours of hard training each day, early nights and live away from friends and loved ones. I don’t’ do it to earn money or even to win (although that’s always nice); I do it to test myself, gain self worth and respect, push myself to the very limit and beyond, and, pursue my passion. I do it to achieve my goal of being the best athlete I can be. Nothing less than 100% will suffice and there will be no compromise or excuse. Total commitment, determination and passion must prevail. These are the standards I set myself and are the measurements I use to assess whether I have failed or succeeded.
Today, I’d already set myself up for failing in the preceding days leading up to the race. Why? Because my coach had told me the truth the day before – that this was the worst possible race that I could do? My weakest, the swim, was non-wetsuit and the bike and run were not technical steep climbs nor descents but were flat as pancakes. I let these negative thoughts about the course sub-consciously transpose to negative beliefs about my self and my abilities. The goal for this race was always to merely have a good training day.
Stop thinking, execute; that was the very simple instruction that I should have followed and will do my best to follow next time. In actual fact, from neck down, my body is performing better than it ever has.
Onwards and upwards…